Nice guys finish…somewhere in the middle?

So, it’s March now. Sorry, little neglected blog. I think saying that I would only write something when I had something to say was the kiss of death. (I’m really boring…)

Quick update before getting down to business: I got the editorial director position for my capstone’s website! Yay! So that’s what has been consuming my life for the past…two months? Yikes…

So I don’t know if I mentioned this, but I coach a high school mock trial team (cue nerd jokes here). This year they’re almost all seniors, so our conversations tend to evolve from matter-of-fact discussion of whether or not is it, in fact, hearsay to something a bit more amorphous about life, love, etc.

Last Sunday, everyone else had left except for four of the senior guys, three of which I have known for over three years. A while back I had brought up the subject of prom, and one of them had recently acquired his date and wanted to tell me. (They’re adorable.) After a bit more chatting about high school, nerdery, and various other topics of interest, I said something to the effect of, “You’re all just really nice boys…in a good way.” Which sparked a whole new topic: What is the bad way of being a nice boy?

“You know,” I said, “a lot of guys don’t like to be ‘nice boys.'”

“That’s because girls don’t like nice boys,” one of them said sourly.

“That’s so not true,” I argued. We debated this a bit, but eventually I just shrugged and told them it would be better after high school. Lame advice, Justine. Lame.

So here is something a bit more concrete in the way of getting girls to like you (if you’re a nice boy):

1. Be a tease. No, I don’t mean play mind games or act like you like her when you don’t. I mean, tease the girl a little. This is the world’s most basic flirting technique, and as long as you are not actually hurtful, she will most likely secretly like the attention.

2. Sweeten the deal. Again, my subheadings seem to imply more than I intend them to mean. I just mean, when it’s just the two of you, be sweet to her. Say nice things, act considerate. PAY ATTENTION. When you’re in a group, this kind of attention could embarrass her, but one-on-one, it’s just nice.

3. Notice things. This kind of goes with pay attention, but give her compliments now and then. Try to figure out what she likes about herself, and compliment that. Try to find out what she doesn’t like about herself, and if you like it anyway, tell her so. Use the fact that you’re a nice guy by BEING a nice guy.

Maybe nothing that I’ve just said is ground-breaking, but it’s also not something you find every day in every guy. I would know. So let’s all celebrate the nice guy, shall we?

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