Summer Reading List

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a virtually constant reader.

The only time you’ll catch me without a book on my person is when I decide to carry a bag NOT the size of a small aquarium. Although I have been known to ditch my wallet and just carry the necessary cards so I can fit whatever novel I’m working on in my clutch. A girl’s gotta have priorities.

This has become especially true since moving to the city. What with my three-train commute and the difficulty of meeting up with friends at the exact agreed upon time (Ok, I’m always 15 minutes early. Deal with it.), I find myself with a lot of time to kill, and I’m more than happy to do that with a book.

But while I’ll whole-heartedly claim the bookworm title, there are times when I find myself with nothing to do but wait and I can’t bring myself to pull out my book.

Usually this happens when some part of my life has become a bit volatile and I just have too much on my mind to give Vonnegut my full attention. So instead I’ll just stare into the littered abyss that is the subway track and let my mind wander. A little down time never hurt anyone, right?

Breakfast of champions

My breakfast today is scrambled eggs on graham crackers.

I would be angry, but this is just too delicious to deny. Thank you, poverty, for this nutritious-ish meal and this lovely life lesson!

Life lesson #135: The longer you wait to buy groceries the more creative you will be.

Hungry like the wolf

My body is plotting against me.

So as you may remember, I’m trying to work out more. (In my defense, the main reason I’m not running as much is this tortuous pain in my right heel. I don’t know where it came from, but it makes me regret running for the rest of the day.) Whining aside, I’m still trying to make it work.

You may also remember that I have no control over my bodily functions (apparently). So the main problem with the running plan? Whenever I DO get out and jog around, I’m STARVING the rest of the day. As in, I can’t get full.

Which means I eat more than I would have otherwise. Which means the caloric burn was all but nil.

According to every health information source ever, I should counteract this by filling up on fibrous or water-dense foods. See: fruits, vegetables, air-popped popcorn, whole wheat whatever. Also, eat more protein. So my plan today is to load up on veggies and chicken at the nearby deli for lunch. Because I’ve already eaten two packets of oatmeal and a peanut butter sandwich with my morning liter of water.

What I’m saying is, I have to be stopped.

Cheaters never prosper…because I punch them.

“It’s just a game — why do you always have to be such a stickler?”

~Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry says this to Kramer about a golf game in the sixth season of the show. (I’m watching it on DVD.) It sounds like something someone could say to me.

I hate cheaters. No, seriously. I hate cheaters.

It doesn’t matter the game; Monopoly, Scrabble, Kickball, Mario Party. It doesn’t matter the opponent; children, the elderly, friends, my dad. I once abruptly ended a Chronicles of Narnia version of the game Risk with a seven-year-old because he kept changing the rules so he would win.

I. Hate. Cheaters.

Part of the problem is that I’m extremely competitive. Like, I can’t let the kids I’m babysitting win at games. I haaaate losing. So when someone is cheating at a game so they can beat me, I am not pleased.

What I’m saying is, follow the rules and no one gets hurt.

The Great Indoors

So I survived camping.

(Insert oohs and ahhs here.)

It was actually pretty fun. I mean, the quarter-size mosquito bites on my ankles, calves, and forehead (Yes, FOREHEAD. Effing mosquitoes…) I could have done without, but I’m a sucker for a day on a beach (even if it’s attached to a lake) and an evening eating a s’more in front of a fire.

Here’s a list of things camping has over civilization:

1. You can wear pajamas all day. In fact, it’s encouraged.

2. The food. Pancakes, burgers, the previously mentioned s’mores…sign me up.

3. Campfires. Even though you’re all smoky until you take a shower, I love the smell in the air.

4. Stars. Turns out you can’t see them in the city. Go figure.

Here’s a list of things civilization will ALWAYS win at:

1. Showers. Sharing my bathing space with a daddy longlegs the size of my hand? No, thank you.

2. While we’re on the subject, the bugs in general. Spiders, beetles, blood-thirsty mosquitos and ticks — these are things I can’t enjoy outside a Pixar movie.

3. Well…pretty much everything else.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I think I’m one of those “camping in moderation, please” types. So until next year, I’ll be enjoying my indoor plumbing and central air/heating, thank you very much.

And of course, there’s always a life lesson to make it all worthwhile:

Life lesson #131: That which does not kill us only makes us stronger. And more bug-bitten.