During my last two years of high school into the first two years of college, I changed my hair a lot.
Like, a LOT.
It went from brown, to lighter brown, to blonde, to dark brown, to lighter brown again, to red, to blonder, to reddish brown. The length was anywhere between the middle of my back and just below my jaw-bone. I had bangs, and then I didn’t, and then I did again.
I’d like to tell you that this was all part of some freedom of expression that stemmed from an innate free-spirited-ness and lack of inhibition. But the truth is, I was just really confused about who I was.
But, being the practical girl I am, I made myself an escape hatch. I told myself everything would come together for me my junior year of college. Why did I pick that specific time? Because that’s when I planned to be editor-in-chief of my college magazine. That’s when I planned to score a major internship I had coveted since I made my decision to go to Drake. That’s when I decided to start being proud of myself and where I was going, instead of focusing only on the things I didn’t like.
Somehow, simply telling myself this would happen actually made it occur.
Around the same time, I dyed my hair back to it’s natural brown and called it a day in terms of hair colors.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: Justine, aren’t you planning to dye your hair blonde again at the end of the month? Are you telling us that you’re a lost, scared, unhappy soul again?
Calm down, that’s not what I’m saying at all. There are a lot of reasons girls (and guys) dye their hair: to fit in, to get noticed, to prove a point, because they just went through a break up, and, as in my case, to shake things up.
My life is blissfully good right now, but whenever someone asks me “What’s new?” I have very little to say. Now, I’m not complaining, but I guess I feel like I need some new in my life. New decade, new hair…and I guess a little bit of a new me.
The point is, I used to look at getting a haircut or new hair color as a desperate chance to figure out who I was. Or be someone else. And for the first time since I was 15, that’s not the case.