I realized on the subway today that I plan out a lot of conversations in my head.
Like, even if it’s a chat I know I will probably never really have, I’ll still mentally rehearse the exact thing I would like to say over and over again when I have a lot of time to think (AKA, my morning and evening commutes).
In fact, there are times when I can’t even sleep because I can’t stop “practicing.” I will literally have to get out of bed and write it out letter-style just to get my brain off of loop.
It probably has something to do with the fact that I tend to stammer and stutter when I get nervous (I try to say too many things at once) and just want my thoughts as organized as possible. But there are times when a girl needs to take a step back and acknowledge that she is, in fact, just talking to herself.