My apathetic analysis of the VMAs

Confession: I didn’t watch the VMAs. On purpose. This wasn’t like the Emmys Debacle of 2010, though let’s be real here, I wouldn’t have watched that either even if I’d known it was happening.

I just find award shows kind of…dull. It just feels like an excuse for celebs to pat themselves on the back. For me, the multi-million dollar paychecks would be gratifying enough. (Get self-righteous’d.)

Besides, it’s not really like middle school anymore where if you don’t watch, you have nothing to contribute at the lunch table. Thanks to Twitter, Facebook, Gawker, and a general skim of tabloid headlines, you can piece together the need-to-knows-and-sees, watch them on Hulu, and still be in the loop without wasting a few hours of your life.

For example, you already know I didn’t watch a second of the VMAs, but I already know T. Swift did something embarrassing (sad, because I like her), Justin Beiber did something that made tween girls swear they will marry him (I feel old, but I just don’t get that one), and Gaga dressed bizarrely and did well award-wise (though I probably could have just assumed that one).

My point is, sometime today I’ll watch Taylor Swift’s song dedicated to Kanye, and I’ll officially be able to survive any VMAS-theme convo with a few well placed “Oh, I knows” and “But that wasn’t exactly a surprise, rights?”

And I think we’ll all be just fine.

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