Don’t judge me

In two days, I’m going back to Iowa for the first time in over a year. (Cue the pause for emphasis.)

“Going home again” is a curious thing. Sure, Bon Jovi doesn’t have a problem with it, but you’re a liar if you say you don’t give the prodigal so-and-so a more scrutinizing once-over when he or she finally returns.

What I’m saying is, when you haven’t seen someone in over a year, your gonna pay special attention to how they’ve changed.

Have they gotten taller? Fatter? Had a kid? You want to know. It’s the main reason people go to high school reunions. So even though I know all the important people are just looking forward to seeing me, regardless of any changes, I still feel some pressure to impress. (No matter how silly or vain that concern may be.)

I’m sure people who went to college more than 20 minutes from their home felt something similar every summer or holiday break. (Are they going to notice that you’ve gained the freshman 15? Yes. And anyone you ever wronged us going to rejoice.)

I think I’ll be okay. I mean, I’m coming home with a fiance, so that proves someone likes me. And I’m thinner than I was when I moved, so at least there can be no whispering behind my back. And technically, I hadn’t been hired yet the last time I was there, so I guess you could say my stock has risen a bit there…

Like I said, I know it’s vain. And petty. And probably at least partly all in my head.

So I’m vain, petty, and delusional. I just want to be liked!

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