You know what I haven’t done in a while? A project/experiment. Fortunately, my friend Craig was apparently ALSO concerned with my lack of adventuresomeness and had a plan to fix it in the works.
Craig: i should do that cleanse!
i always wanted to try it
me: those don’t really do anything you know
Craig: i need a partner tho
i just wanna to say i did it
me: ha why?
Craig: mind over matter, makes me feel like i have control
me: but they’re bad for you!
Craig: i mean i know, but its only for a week or two and such an accomplishment
me: why do I get the feeling like you are trying to talk me into doing this with you?
Craig: because i am
just think of how awesome it will be to be apart of that elite smug crew
me: bahaha “We’re not eating…so we’re better than you.”
And that’s basically how I ended up agreeing to forgo food for ten days. Craig googled the basics, I emailed a friend of mine who does this fairly regularly for specifics, and after confirming that we were not pregnant or trying to get pregnant, we began.
Craig was initially VERY skeptical of my commitment.
Craig: are you gonna say no, if you say no it’s a waste of time to do the research
me: I guess I’ll do it, but if you quit midway I will punch you with whatever strength I have left
Craig: our bones shall be fragile, so something will shatter
Now, let me preface (well, it’s a bit late for that…preneck?) that I am fully aware that cleanses can be bad for you. I tried explaining this to Craig and he said:
i (heart) how people are against it it makes me want to do it more
Well…that aside, I know several people who have done it with no negative complications, so…that’s all I got. (Basically, please don’t leave nasty comments about how it’s SUPERAWFULHORRIBLEFORYOU, because while I’m aware of the nutritional negatives and in general agree with your skepticism, I think we’ll be fine. It’s for ScIeNcE!)
ANYWAYS, we headed to Trader Joe’s on Sunday to stock up on…lemons. And cayenne pepper and syrup. And tea that apparently gives you “3-4 movements a day.” *Gag/shudder/gag*
Craig: cannnnnnot wait, i hope we faint
ive always been very good at not eating all my life, so i should be able to not really care about the feeling hungry portion
me: you sound like you have an eating disorder
And we’re off!