The Lemon Pledge

You know what I haven’t done in a while? A project/experiment. Fortunately, my friend Craig was apparently ALSO concerned with my lack of adventuresomeness and had a plan to fix it in the works.

Craig: i should do that cleanse!
i always wanted to try it
me: those don’t really do anything you know
Craig: i need a partner tho
i just wanna to say i did it
me: ha why?
Craig: mind over matter, makes me feel like i have control
me: but they’re bad for you!
Craig: i mean i know, but its only for a week or two and such an accomplishment
me: why do I get the feeling like you are trying to talk me into doing this with you?
Craig: because i am
just think of how awesome it will be to be apart of that elite smug crew
me: bahaha “We’re not eating…so we’re better than you.”

And that’s basically how I ended up agreeing to forgo food for ten days. Craig googled the basics, I emailed a friend of mine who does this fairly regularly for specifics, and after confirming that we were not pregnant or trying to get pregnant, we began.

Craig was initially VERY skeptical of my commitment.

Craig: are you gonna say no, if you say no it’s a waste of time to do the research
me: I guess I’ll do it, but if you quit midway I will punch you with whatever strength I have left
fair warning
Craig: our bones shall be fragile, so something will shatter

Now, let me preface (well, it’s a bit late for that…preneck?) that I am fully aware that cleanses can be bad for you. I tried explaining this to Craig and he said:

i (heart) how people are against it it makes me want to do it more

Well…that aside, I know several people who have done it with no negative complications, so…that’s all I got. (Basically, please don’t leave nasty comments about how it’s SUPERAWFULHORRIBLEFORYOU, because while I’m aware of the nutritional negatives and in general agree with your skepticism, I think we’ll be fine. It’s for ScIeNcE!)

ANYWAYS, we headed to Trader Joe’s on Sunday to stock up on…lemons. And cayenne pepper and syrup. And tea that apparently gives you “3-4 movements a day.” *Gag/shudder/gag*

{us with lemons...for the record, I'm not a midget; he's just 6'4"}

Craig: cannnnnnot wait, i hope we faint
ive always been very good at not eating all my life, so i should be able to not really care about the feeling hungry portion
me: you sound like you have an eating disorder

And we’re off!


16 thoughts on “The Lemon Pledge

  1. Ladies and Gentleman, I will be taking your starting bets… Who says by the end of this week one, if not both, of these fine individuals will be downing a cheeseburger faster than Usain Bolt at the 100 meter dash??

  2. Just don’t stand by any train tracks or other dangerous junctions, just in case you are feeling weak or faint!! Justine, you have fainted before, so be careful!!

  3. Your both ridiculous, and Craig is a hypocrite who made fun of me for doing this months ago telling me how stupid i was as well as how unhealthy it is!!!!

    Joe the Finance I give it to Thursday

  4. 1) I love how this blog has become a forum for our thoughts.
    2)Craig will break by Wednesday, Justine will break Friday.

    Why will Craig break quicker than Justine? I love Craig like a brother but he gets really excited about things and then when it comes to sticking with it he quits. For example, Craig signed up for the gym and vowed he would go with me every day. He went….once….and then ate the free pizza my gym hands out the first Friday of every month. Justine will stick with it for journalistic purposes and because shes too resilient to quit. Unfortunately though, a doctor will probably tell her she needs to start eating solid food because shes too frail and may literally snap like a toothpick. Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

    • Yes I stopped going to the gym. And NO I did not eat the pizza. I thought it was very counter-intuitive to belong to a gym that after you work out serves you a healthy supply of free pizza. How does that make any sense?

  5. Honestly… I’m not really sure which of you i’ve lost more respect for. Craig for having the idea… or you for knowing its stupid and still going along with it (its not craig) . ……i hope you cave simply for your health.

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