Excitement and insecurities

Next Saturday, I’m spending the evening with basically everyone I went to high school with.

No, it’s not a reunion. Technically. Two of my good friends from high school are getting married (to each other), and I’m heading back to the heartland to celebrate with them.

Given my not-so-secret feelings about weddings, it should be no surprise that I’m quite excited.

But also given my apprehension about seeing people I haven’t seen in a long time (and judgments), I’ve also, naturally, decided to put pressure on myself.

Now, the rational part of my brain knows that these are my friends, and therefore they are most likely not hoping I got fat and live a sad, lonely life. That I don’t actually have anything to prove. And, to be perfectly honest, they probably already know the gist of my life from Facebook and this ‘ere blog.

The irrational part of my brain wants to be impressive.

God, I hate trying to be impressive.

It’s not like I’m getting plastic surgery or anything. I might be a little more dedicated to my workouts. I might fill in the spots where my highlights have grown out. Heck, I’d probably do that before any big even where I’m going to bother getting dressed up.

I think I’m also a little bummed because Joey isn’t coming with me (sigh…finances and other grown-up games), but after all, I will know everyone there, so I can’t get too lonely.

I guess what I’m saying is, I’m not really worried, but I am a bit preoccupied. Ugh, there’s nothing like the girl going to a wedding who’s only worried about herself, right?

But I have a dress, I have a present that my dear friend Annie and I went in on, I have my plane ticket and my car to the airport booked, and I actually am really excited to see everyone. Yay, weddings!