Well-Meaning Massage

You’ll all be happy to know that I am feeling much less sore today. Jess, Heather, and I went and got massages last night. Best. Idea. Ever. And considering I get maybe one massage every two years (at best), it was certainly a treat.

The only interesting thing was that Heather and I had male massage therapists. (Heather, who actually IS a massage therapist, doesn’t like the word “masseuse,” so I’m just going with what she says.)

Mine was nice enough. (He reminded me of Spencer from The King of Queens, so that’s what I named him in my head. I’m sure he told me his actual name, but I am simply terrible at remembering real names when someone looks so much like someone else whose name I DO remember.) He was quiet and professional, which are two of my favorite qualities in a massage therapist.

Incidentally, we had to fill out a form at the beginning that asked us what qualities we look for in a massage therapist. I cannot begin to tell you how tempted I was to just fill in nonsense. “Loves animals, keeps in touch with his or her family, good sense of style but not a slave to trends…” It’s amazing anyone talks to me.

We also had to list our profession on the survey (can I tell you how much of a tool I felt like when I had to write “social media specialist”? Or, “professional facebooker,” as Heather refers to it). Heather, of course, had to write down “massage therapist.” Which, it turns out, meant her massage therapist felt like he had to impress her the whole time.

Which, apparently, involved quizzing her on which muscle he was working at the time. Here’s a little lesson for massage therapists out there: Quiz bowl does not equal relaxing. You’re welcome.

**Side note: I managed to use the term “massage therapists” seven times (now eight). If this site was about massage, my SEO rankings would be through the roof.**

Regardless, we all managed to have a pretty good time unwinding and letting someone pummel our sore muscles.

Plus, the hubster got me flowers, a card, and a bottle of wine for our six-month anniversary! I know what you’re thinking: What a thoughtful, handsome man you have married! And I say, yes! Yes, he is. And back off, he’s mine.


Other than that, not much to share today. Except that I’m weirdly tired despite going to bed at a responsible time and having a latte this morning (plus the massage!). Y’all know I don’t even pretend to understand my body.