My new favorite thing.

“Mary and I had been friends from the age of 3, and I had always had feelings for her. One night, as college friends, we went to dinner, and I told her, ‘I think there’s something here,’ to which she responded, ‘I think you need to think about that.’ I said, ‘Ok, I’ve thought about it for almost 20 years, but I can give it another week or two, I guess.’ She ended up staying with me that night, so I just went for it! I kissed her while we were about to fall asleep, and she was like a rock! Nothing! No response, no reaction, no reciprocation. So I thought, well, that was a great friendship that I just screwed up. Fast forward, a few weeks later we were on spring break together…yada yada yada…now we’re married.” — Austin, 29

Read this. Now.

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Dear blog troll…

Well, well, WELL, well, well!

(I don’t know why, but starting a statement with a series of inflected “wells” is always funny to me. So…that’s why I’m repeating the joke.)

Here I was sitting in my ivory tower, brushing my flowing hair daily (no fewer than 1,000 strokes per side) and thinking only (only!) of myself and assuming you all were equally fascinated. I mean, come on, do you know anyone more interesting than me?? Be serious now.

And /sarcasm.

Although, it turns out, that is apparently the self-image I give off in this blog. Who knew?

Those of you who follow me on Twitter (oops, there I go again talking about myself! On my own blog…) already know that earlier today I had the pleasure of experiencing my first hate comment from a stranger.

Irony of ironies, this actually did make me feel a little self-important. I mean, lately I’ve been making a concerted effort to comment more on other people’s blogs (it’s what makes the blog world go round, y’all), and I have to say, reaching out takes time! And effort! So you have to admit it’s a little funny that someone would go out of their way to acknowledge me as a way of proving to me that I don’t matter. (And with a username like “smarterthanyou.” One would think not, my friend.)

I should clarify that I have no problem with constructive criticism, but if you’re going to tell me I’m doing something wrong, it had better be something I can fix. Not talking about myself on my personal lifestyle blog? Not too much I can do there.

Sigh, I guess this is the life I asked for. Paris Hilton should be calling any minute so we can swap hater stories. We self-obsessed girls gotta stick together, ya know?

But just because I would prefer not to continue the negativity on my blog (which I consider to be a happy space), let’s turn this into something positive, shaaaaallll we?

Here’s my top 5 list of things that are about other people that I like:

1. My friend Heather is throwing a really cool dinner party that I’m super excited about. She is the ultimate hostess, and she even sent out some gorgeous invitations for the event. Don’t you love having creative friends?

2. My other friend Susan has started blogging again, after an almost year-long hiatus. I love Susan, and I love her blog almost as much. Today she wrote a really great post about overcoming the stigma of loving your significant other more than work. Definitely worth a read.

3. A former co-worker and friend’s dog was featured on BusinessInsider.com for his awesome Kanye West costume. Yes. A dog. Dressed as Kanye. Stop pretending like you didn’t click the link before I even finished this sentence.

4. Another former co-worker and friend now writes for Everyday Health, and she posted her first blog post here about how taking the pill changes how you pick your partner.

5. My husband made excellent use of our door clip again today by leaving me a note reminding me (oops! Used a selfish pronoun. Sorry!) to leave his debit card, which he had accidentally left in my car a couple of days ago. He’s so smart/thoughtful.

Of course, I’m sure that there are loads of other things going on in other people’s lives right this second, and many of them would probably be excellent blog posts. Alas, I’m me. (Sorry.) So, in general, I can only write about…well…me.

But you should feel better, random troll from Jersey. I spent the whole blog post talking about you. You’re welcome.