Let me take care of that for you

Has anyone else ever tried this site? Basically, they take snippets from every tweet you’ve made and generate “your next tweet.” It’s kind of hilarious.

Most of them don’t make sense. And/or make it sound like you’re not NOT high.

Essentially, you can drunk tweet without a sip of alcohol in your system. Brilliant, non?

Here are a few posts it came up with for me (it helps if you imagine me actually writing them…while intoxicated):

Oh, I can spend hours on a BIT biased, but I would be a midnight grilled cheese from my life.

I can’t figure out me a bar of the way to paint today. And I’m a liar. Fantastic night. Now can do it!

Boys with me feel the prize…apartment cleaning=goo to do if not a good thing. Ok, universe. I do!

Guess where we’ll wind up? I do! Oh, I can’t wait to do it! He’s such a book. I loved mine.

The weirdest part? Well… WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?? Agreed. They’re red.

The whole network is life-changing, we still have karaoke?? Must…resist… Goals for the tip!

At a hate-free zone. Fantastic. The living room, kitchen and Jersey Boys with the longest, most emo?

Please tell me a diva. WHOA! First day just ran six miles tonight. Trying to my uterus ;- Thanks for.

Thanks, guys! Haha adorable. Exciting! I’ll be cute…if I would I feel guilty spending my apartment: The.

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You’re the greatest. Yes, YOU.

I’ve been writing this blog for almost three years, but I have to tell you, it still thrills me whenever I get a comment from someone I don’t know or (miracle of miracles) when someone I don’t know subscribes to my blog.

Seriously, you guys rock and roll, and it completely makes my day when I get one of those emails.

So, to celebrate your awesomeness, I’m giving away a FREE $20 Starbucks gift card to the 30th subscriber!

I know what you’re thinking:

Justine, is this a bribe?

What? Wha…no! Bribe?? Never. It’s a giveaway for your awesomeness. It’s me giving you something so you do something for me.

So…not a bribe? Just don’t think too hard about it.

If you are already a subscriber…I’m sorry. I really appreciate you even if I’m not sending you free things. You were the originals, and I love you all the more for it.

So anyway, if you don’t want to enter, just don’t subscribe. But if you like me AND free coffee, please click that lovely grey button on the homepage to subscribe.

It’s not you; it’s me.

Do you ever just instantly not like someone?

I mean, not just think they’re sort of strange, but genuinely dislike them upon meeting? When they haven’t even had a chance to do anything to make you not like them?

I’m really hoping I’m not the only person this happens to, because then I’ll feel like a jerk.

And I say “happens to,” because I sincerely think it is beyond my powers of control. I don’t go into the meeting thinking, “Oh boy, I really can’t wait to be uncomfortable every time we are together!” It just…happens.

And because I’m such a bad liar about my opinions, I feel like it’s really apparent every time I have to talk to said person that I don’t like them, so it really is uncomfortable when we have to talk.

And since I know they didn’t actually do anything to make me not like them, I know I’m being a jerk and hate that.

Therefore, it’s out of my control.

Seriously, does anyone else do this?