We got busted pipes, yo

Not going to lie, our apartment got all kinds of clean this weekend.

The living room is spotless. Even the “corner office” is looking pretty snazzy.

The bathroom? Let’s just say the husband gave the bathroom what-for on Saturday, and it’s one lit candle on the toilet tank away from being guest ready at the drop of a hat.

The bedroom? Well, guess who has two thumbs and has made it her new goal to make the bed at least five out of the seven days of the week? THIS GIRL. Plus, we got our laundry done. So…clean clothes!

Which leaves us with the dining room and kitchen.

Let me start off by saying that it’s not the dining room’s fault. He’s missing his largest component of storage, which will be remedied soon. But right now every wine, martini, shot, trifle, and hot toddy glass is sitting on the dining table, along with every liquor bottle we own, so it’s simply not going to look clean for at least a week. But I’ve got BIG PLANS, you guys. BIG.

As for the kitchen. Well. This is a bit of a sad story.

Usually my kitchen is very clean. I think it’s one of the easiest rooms to keep clean actually. Everything is hidden in cabinets and such, and once you’ve done the dishes, wiped down the stove and counters, and swiffed the floor, you’re golden.

So three days, ago I was doing dishes when I noticed that the water was not draining as fast as it should be. I don’t have a disposal, and it’s nearly impossible not to get any food bits down the drain, so it’s not all THAT bizarre that the drain should get clogged.

By the next day, things were not budging. I tried pouring boiling hot water down the drain. No go. Joey tried Drain-O. Nothing. We tried an unbent coat hanger. Nada.

So we called our landlord. It’s his job to fix these things, right? Well, turns out he just didn’t have time for us and could we just use paper plates for the next two days?


It’s a good thing Joey was on the phone because I get all KINDS of agitated when people don’t do their jobs.

So he was going to come on Monday. Not being able to stand the mess, on Sunday we tried plunging the drain.

At first it seemed like it was working. And then…well, then everything changed.

This reddish brown business started flooding up the drain, and then the pipe under the sink started leaking. ALL OVER THE FLOOR.

Joey tried calling the landlord again. About .04 seconds after he said, “There’s water all over the floor,” the landlord suddenly had time and was on his way. Magic.

Basically, the diagnosis was that we have crazy old pipes. Which we knew. So once the dripping water thing was solved (because I just love using my pots and pans to catch rusty water!), the landlord promised to come fix it today. It should be repaired by the time I get home. I should say, it better be. (I’m much more threatening in print, right?)

But anyway. Then I will be able to clean the kitchen, and we will be left with only ONE messy room.

And things shall be glorious again.