He’s no Benny.

So, Benny is in the shop finally getting fixed. Poor, brave soul. I miss him terribly.

Currently, I’m carting myself around in a rental. It’s ok. JUST ok.

Actually, I kind of hate him. I’ve named him Bernardo. He’s Benny’s evil, ambiguously Latino twin brother:

Let’s talk about why is in infinitely insuperior to Benny. First, he is just not in that great of shape. (Benny is a Greek god.)

One of the side mirrors has a crack in it, everything is dusty, a few things have suspicious looking sticky marks on them. You just feel a little dirtier sitting in Bernardo.

Secondly, he smells vaguely of cherries. Or some other cloyingly sweet fruity smell. It’s nauseating. And I’m pretty sure my hair soaked it up. Vom.

Third, his speakers are BUSTED. They work fine at first, but after about half an hour of tunes, suddenly the music starts cutting out every five seconds. EVERY. FIVE. SECONDS.

It’s maddening. Weirdly enough, the cut out noise that happens (it’s like a dull thump in the speaker) continues to happen for a while after you’ve shut off the car.

Which leads me to my fourth point: Bernardo is haunted.

Fortunately, the real Benny should be back in our lives in only a day or two.

So we can send Bernardo back to the black abyss from whence he came!

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3 thoughts on “He’s no Benny.

  1. I LOVE this post. It made me giggle like a mad woman.(I probably am) I can’t wait to meet your beautiful Benny!!

  2. Funniest post ever!!! I love it! As I was reading point three I thought to myself, Bernardo must be possessed!! Sorry about Benny’s evil stand in though. :-/

  3. Pingback: Benny > Bernardo | Stop Me If You've Heard This One

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