Lesson Learned

I do this occasional thing where I’ll tweet the random terms people enter in search engines that bring them to my blog. I think it’s really interesting/hilarious to see not only what people are looking for, but also to see what Old Man Internets thinks my blog is about. (Because, honestly, for the most part I have no idea.)

I recently tweeted about how a few people had found this little site by searching for “weird life lessons.”

Is there anything more poetic about that? I often have friends who ask me what I would write a book about (if I ever get that sort-of-joking-but-it-would-be-beyond-if-it-actually-happened book deal), and usually I just say something to the effect of, “How to awkwardly navigate life? Funny stories? I don’t know.”

But what I think I’ve been trying to say is, “Weird life lessons.”

Which leads me to my new idea. I think pretty much all of my posts can be summed up into a lesson learned.

Sometimes you have to let yourself off the hook.

It’s possible to make someone’s day with a slab of chicken and the leftover Dorito crumbs in the bag.

You never know when your personal rant will become a chorus.

I think it’s time to start making some of these implied lessons bolder statements. I LOVE bold statements.

For those of you new to the blog, this is not the first time I have incorporated life lessons into the blog. So from now on, they’re just going to be my sum-up point at the end of each post.

Bonus for you: If you don’t want to read the whole post, just skip to the last sentence! Lesson. Learned. (SEE WHAT I DID THERE???)

So let’s go!

Lesson learned: It’s good to have direction. (Even if all you’re really doing is copying yourself.)


Cheating hearts

You guys…I’ve been cheating on you.

Well, not so much you-you, but on my spending fast, which I had promised you, so it feels like I’ve cheated on you.


You guys know how I feel about cheaters. Really, I disgust myself.

I guess the only excuse I can make is that the five things I’ve purchased, while not being technically crucial for life to go on, were still things I really need.

One was a latte. Actually, two of the five things were lattes. But they were at least a week apart, so it’s still an improvement from where things were. AND YOU GUYS. I NEEDED those lattes. (Total disclosure: I’m drinking the second one as I type this. Things be rough, yo.)

The fact is, a girl gets tired of being tired all the time. And today the weather is pretty much what the guy who invented the expression “raining cats and dogs” had in mind. I assume. It’s really hard to get into the mind of a person who sees bad weather and thinks of domesticated animals. but I digress.

Plus, work has been a little blah lately, and I haven’t had that much to write about, and the other day I was actually moved to ask Joey if I’m boring, and did I mention the weather is terrible? So…yeah. I’m calling the lattes justified.

The other things I purchased were two skirts and a dress. LET ME FINISH.

Ok, so I know. I KNOW. I bought clothes. But here’s the deal: I HAVE to wear a dress or skirt at least three times a week. Have to. And after I went through my last clothing purge, I realized I really only have about two skirts that I like wearing every day, and most of my dresses are summery. So I bought two longish skirts and a dress with sleeves. (Both of which I have been OBSESSED with this season. Seriously, check out my I Would Wear That board. See??)

Plus, all three things were on crazy sale. I got all three for under $80. So…it could have been worse?

Ugh. I sicken myself.

But I feel better confessing. This has really been weighing on my mind. And I want you to know that I’m back on the straight and narrow. No more slip-ups. I get paid tomorrow, and the only things I plan on buying until the end of the month are gas, groceries, and my Iceland boots. THAT’S IT. I promise.

As if my word means anything to you anymore. Ugh.

If it makes you feel any better, I have kept true to my word of bringing lunch every day (except the day I got FREE lunch at work) and making dinner every night. See? Last night was mini pizzas on Pillsbury biscuits!

Amazing, by the way.

I can’t be the only one who has ever cheated on a plan. Feel free to share your diet cheats, budget cheats, and board game cheats in the comments so I feel like less of a low-life.