What I did in Las Vegas.

So. You guys. Here’s where things stand.

We got in from Vegas last night. Well, technically this morning. Because it was one a.m. when we landed. Meaning I didn’t really get to bed until after two. A.M. Which…yeah. I’m really tired.

Like, I literally just spilled coffee on my keyboard attempting to drink it and type the intro of this post at the same time. Things are…well…not good.

So even though I fully intended to give you a legitimate blog post today (after half a week of sorry excuses), it’s just not going to happen.

Which is why I’m falling back on the tired blogger’s new favorite easy post: the Instagram round-up.

Here’s my Vegas trip in twelve pictures or less (Spoiler alert: It’s 12. Twelve pictures.):

1. Hard Rock Hotel. (Or the HRH, as my local friend Max informs me everyone with a Vegas driver’s license calls it. Apparently they have an affinity for acronyms.) This isn’t actually a picture of the hotel. It’s the Hard Rock Cafe next to the hotel. But it’s what I have a picture of. So….yeah.

2. The Strip. If you’ve never been, you’ll be pleased to know it looks exactly the same as it does in the movies.

3. The bars. The aforementioned fried Max took us out to a couple of bars the night we got in. First up was The Griffin, second was Frankie’s Tiki Room. I can highly recommend both.

4. The pool. The best part of our hotel was hands-down the pool area. It was a little surreal when you remembered you were, in fact, not on a resort, but in the middle of a city. In the middle of a desert. In the middle of the world. (Deep, I know.)

5. The dinner. For dinner the second night, we hit up a place called Abriya Raku in Vegas’s Chinatown. (Though the restaurant is Japanese. I can’t explain it.) It’s a bit pricey (it’s almost entirely small plates and a single scallop is $7), but it was also probably the best damn scallop I’ve ever eaten.

6. The exploration. We spent the last day in the city wandering the strip and seeing all the stuff you’re supposed to see. Here’s Joey in front of a fountain. There was another couple taking photos next to us, with the woman posing lustfully on the side of the foutain (pretty much exactly like this. I tried to get Joey to do the same thing, but he refused. Killjoy.

7. The Eiffel Tower. We have officially seen two of these bad boys. We had breakfast outside the Paris hotel.

8. The Mon Ami Gabi. Speaking of breakfast, um…you should all go here. This is without a doubt the best breakfast I’ve ever had. And our waiter was awesome. And we had the best table in the place, overlooking the Bellagio. And they were super accomdating when I asked if I could turn the lemon pancakes with fresh strawberries into lemon waffles with fresh strawberries, and it turned out to be perfectly fluffy waffles with lemon butter and fresh berries and the best whipped cream I’ve ever tasted. And it was the best decision ever. And they serve the coffee in a bowl, which has prompted me to never want to drink coffee out of a regular cup ever again. And their mimosas had an excellent champagne to orange juice ratio, in that it was basically a glass of champagne with a splash of OJ. And I loved everything. EVERYTHING. So…you should go.

9. The gratuitous breakfast shots. What? Bowl of coffee? Mimosas? Seriously, go now.

10. The exploration continued. After breakfast, we continued wandering the strip.

11. The Forum Shops. Turns out there’s a mall connected to Caesar’s Palace that has basically every high-end store ever. Seriously, you guys. You could drop some major coin in this joint. (Assuming you’re a millionaire with major coin to drop.) Joey did a pretty good job pretending to be interested as I explained what I would buy in each one if I was, in fact, a millionaire.

12. The souvenirs. The one thing I did let myself buy? A tiny gold ring from Kate Spade. I’m mean, I’m still me. It’s my new obsession. (Plus, it has spades on it. Which, through six degrees of separation, I can connect to Vegas, so it’s a good souvenir.)(Kate Spade ring=spades=cards=gambling=Vegas. Boom.)

And there you have it. VEGAS. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drink a few cups of coffee and pretend I’m not fall-down tired.