In which I release all my feelings about The Walking Dead

Listen…we need to talk about something real quick. And that something is the AMC TV show The Walking Dead.

The third season just started a couple of weeks ago, but Joey and I just started watching it a little over a week ago from the beginning.

Suffice to say, we’ve finished the first two seasons in that time and will most likely be completely caught up by the end of the day. We. Just. Can’t. Stop. Watching.

The two of us getting hooked on a television show is not a rare phenomenon. And one of our favorite ways to pass a weekend is watching a season or two of a show we like in one sitting. (The cheap thrill of no commercials just never gets old.) So why is TWD blog-worthy?

Well…I’m not sure. I think it has something to do with the fact that I can’t figure out why I like it.

I mean, the writing is terribly predictable. (Sometimes Joey or I will actually say the character’s line out loud seconds before they do. We know what they are going to say.)

And, especially in the first season, the acting is not that stellar. (Has anyone else noticed that every character has about one expression? Dale had that wide-eyed “you just ate my lunch right in front if me” stare, Shane was always sporting that slack-jawed mouth-breather thing…it’s distracting.)

And, historically, I hate gore of any kind. (Though, to be fair, the “gore” here is pretty campy. In a few scenes, it’s blatantly chocolate sauce, not even bothered to be colored red.)

Plus, it has to be said, every character is annoying at least once per episode. (Well, except Darryl. He seem to be the only one with any real sense about anything. If he turns walker on us, we should all just give up.) But for the most part, they’re all just so dang stupid and careless.

Here are three live-saving lessons I learned in the first, oh, ten minutes of the show:

1. Stop wandering off by yourself. Stop going anywhere by yourself. Ever. NO EXCEPTIONS.

2. Walkers are not capable of sneaking up on you given the fact that they are never seen not moaning or gasping or growling or dragging their feet or bumping into things or generally making feral animal noises. AND YET, they have snuck up on no less than a dozen people in the last two seasons. I think everyone just needs to start paying more attention.

3. Everyone needs to start taking the whole “keep an eye on your children at all times” thing a little more seriously. I mean…really, you guys. We’re in the zombie apocalypse here. Can we please stop assuming Carl is in his room like you told him to be?

There are a lot of other issues I could list about specific characters (I’m looking at you, Lori), but I don’t want to spoil anything if you haven’t watched it yet. (If you have watched it…email me. We shall discuss.)

Anyway, the point is, I’m don’t think everyone in the show is taking their situation seriously, despite being painfully over-dramatic about everything. It’s a weird juxtaposition.

So, again, why can’t I stop watching?

I posted something about the show on Facebook last night, and my friend Lindsey compared the show to a car wreck. It’s so bad, but you can’t look away. (Though she might have been referencing the gore.)

Joey and I describe it like this: The show is more like a movie than a television show. It’s not a plot line that can be sustained for nine seasons, or whatever. It’s basically a long-form thriller. It’s based on a graphic novel (that I haven’t read), which doesn’t necessarily mean it will end as quickly as the writing it’s based on (Gossip Girl proved that to us all, amiright?), but it’s worth noting that the original story (I assume) had a more succinct beginning, middle, and end than a standard television series. (If someone has read the novel and I’m way off base, feel free to correct me.)(WITHOUT REVEALING ANY SPOILERS OR I’LL HATE YOU.)

What all that adds up to is that in my brain, I’m watching a long, intense movie and I just need to know how it ends. I have a lot of questions, especially after Jenner’s secret was revealed and that mysterious helicopter made its second appearance and Andrea met her new friend in the woods. I JUST NEED ANSWERS.

And I’m probably going to keep on watching until I get them. Which, I would imagine, was the desired effect.

Do any of you watch The Walking Dead? Do you share any of my annoyances or theories? Are you equally, though inexplicably, obsessed? OBSESS WITH ME.

3 thoughts on “In which I release all my feelings about The Walking Dead

  1. It’s making me nuts that I haven’t been able to watch it yet. WE’re on the Dish so they just got it back this past Sunday and I keep telling myself to find them online and watch them, because I just have to know. I want to know about the person at the end of last season with the chained zombies… OoOoOO… Can’t wait!! 🙂

  2. This post was hilarious, mostly because my husband and I are into it too! My husband has always been into zombie movies/shows so when he first started watching it I thought it was just stupid and dumb. But I actually started watching it and got sucked in… I think it’s because it does feel like a movie instead of a show and it’s more plot than gore. The gore IS pretty laughable, but you’re right – it’s like a car wreck, and I just can’t look away!

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