I never saw this coming.

Doctor's orders.
Doctor’s orders.

You know how sometimes the anticipation of something is better than actually experience said thing? Or perhaps you’re familiar with the phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side”?

I’m experiencing a serious case of that.

I feel like a bit of a punk for even complaining about this because…well, you’ll see, but we so rarely experience something we’ve never experienced before, it seems a shame not to discuss. Plus, the blog needs some more fodder, ya know?

It’s like this: I’m currently almost 33 weeks pregnant, but apparently my belly is measuring a couple weeks behind that. Everything appears to be totally fine with the bub (heartbeat is strong, she’s as active a little monkey as ever), but my midwife would like me to start gaining more weight more quickly. To the tune of 15 pounds in the next six weeks.

To be fair, it’s fine if I’m closer to ten pounds heavier. They just ask you to shoot for a 30-pound weight gain if you are a healthy weight prior to getting pregnant.

But STILL. That’s a lot. And the main advice I was given was that I needed to eat more.

And here’s where the punk part comes in. Because, you guys? It’s hard.

Yes, I have officially become one of those people who complains about how hard it is to gain weight. I LITERALLY never thought I would see the day. Because…because I’m me, and in my regular life, it is not that hard to gain weight.

So I’m obnoxious. But you guys.

Because it’s not like I am trying to not gain weight. I really am! Ever since they gave me essentially the same advice at my last appointment three weeks ago, I’ve been trying to eat more. One problem is that I’m just not that hungry. It’s so hot out. And the other is that I have a I-swear-she’s-bigger-than-it-looks baby taking up ALL the belly room that my stomach would normally expand into, so I get full after about four bites.

I know, I know. I’m annoyed with me too.

I explained all this to the midwife, who smiled kindly at me and told me that I have to eat every two hours anyway. So now I’m trying to psych myself up every couple of hours to eat something with protein in it, even if I’m not in the least bit hungry.

It’s weird, to say the least.

My new plan is to just eat a lot of ice cream and peanut butter. High calorie and protein/calcium-rich — everyone wins! (And my midwife actually did tell me to eat ice cream every day if I want to, so it’s medically sound!)

Any other mommas have a similar experience? Any tips for fitting more protein and calories into my every day? Am I truly the most obnoxious person ever? (Yes.)