Letter to my future child

One day, my friend Erin and I were discussing how everything on the Internet lives forever and how just about anything can be found in a Google search, when the conversation shifted to how that probably means that if/when I have kids, they will someday find this blog. We concluded that the only thing to do was the write a post to them now, just to head off any awkwardness later. This is that post. FOR THE RECORD I AM NOT PREGNANT NOR PLANNING ON IT ANY TIME SOON. Again, NOT PREGNANT. Now carry on:

Oh…heeeeey there. So I guess…you found this.

If you’re in your mid-20s, hopefully we’re the same person and you now think I’m awesome. Or hopefully you’re like your dad and really like me even when I’m weird.

If you’re in your teens, you’re probably mildly humiliated. Sorry for being weird.

If you’re under the age of 10, WHAT ARE YOU DOING USING THE COMPUTER UNSUPERVISED???

So now you know that you mom wrote (writes? did I keep this up?) a blog. AND that she had the foresight to assume posterity would someday discover it. Wacky, huh?

See? I know EVERYTHING.

Actually, I’m kind of glad this happened. There’s a pretty good chance that (because I’m your mom) you only see me as a parent. (Unless you are in your mid-20s, in which case you might have discovered that I’m a human being too.) But in case that hasn’t happened yet, this will help.

I started this blog because a college professor told me I should have one. I kept it up because I really enjoyed it. I kept it up even when I didn’t enjoy it because I knew that stopping might mean I would stop for good. And the fact is, the best part about having a written record of my young adult life is that I will always have this perspective.

I can look back on the post I wrote right after I moved to New York and remember how mildly panicked I was at having my whole life up in the air. I can look back at the post I wrote the weekend your dad asked me to be his girlfriend and remember how excited I was about the possibilities. I can read the post I wrote the morning of our wedding, and even though it’s brief, remember the sweet, joyful emotions I felt while sitting on that couch in my hotel room typing frantically on my phone.

So basically, you found my diary. And since you obviously read it, I have no qualms about reading yours when I find it.

I’m kidding.

(But seriously.)

I feel like I should be using this opportunity to give you some kind of profound advice, but the fact is (as you can probably tell from my posts), you pretty much just have to figure things out as you go. (Plus I’m not anywhere near a parent yet, so I have no idea where to start.)

Obviously there are a lot of personal things I’ve learned that I can tell you (we still talk right? Oh man, I hope I’m not dead when you find this, that would be really awkward…) and hopefully I’ve set a good example for you in the “how to be a real-live adult” thing, but in general, you’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to take jobs you hate and your priorities are going to change. You’re going to make friends, and you’re going to lose them.

Life is going to be so unapologetically cruel one day, and on another you will be humbled by how wonderful things can be. And for me, writing every bit of it out just…helped. It helped and it helps me get through the good and the bad.

So I guess that’s the extend of my profundity. (And because I’m your mom, I know you read a lot your whole life and appreciate my use of the word “profundity.”) Regardless of what’s happening in your life or how old you are, I hope you know that I always want us to be at least as honest with each other as I am in these posts.

So…that got kind of heavy. This post started as a joke. It was supposed to be a funny post. It was supposed to help AVOID awkwardness!

Well, if there’s one thing this blog should teach you about me, it’s that I’m usually awkward no matter what. Odds are, you are too. (Sorry about that…) I guess what all this means is that I hope you’ll let me know when you find this.

Now go clean your room.

Party bloggin’ in the house tonight

So I check my blog stats fairly often. Not often enough to be considered obsessed, but often enough that I can probably give you a pretty accurate ball park of where the numbers are at any given time during the day.

On one hand, I just like little charts and graphs and seeing where everyone is coming from. On the other, it’s just nice to know that there are actually people reading this nonsense.

But even though my stat guesses are usually pretty accurate, for a while I was getting pleasantly surprised every morning at how many people had visited the night before. I would go to bed at around 2-something, and wake to well over 300.

What was the source behind this bizarre (yet pleasing) phenomenon? Today at lunch, my husband and I concluded it must be my West Coast readers.

Me: That makes sense.

Him: While we’re sleeping, they’re partying all night.

Me: Oh yeah?

Him: Yeah. Party blogging.

Me: And what exactly does party blogging look like?

And then he demonstrated (I guess pretend he’s looking at a computer screen ha):
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God love that man.

So question to all you party bloggin’ West Coasters: When are you reading my blog? Is it after 11 EST?

Clear is the new clever

I was going to save this for a weekday post, but it’s such a quickie craft I think it will do nicely for a weekend post. (Heh heh…quickie…)

You know how a lot of white powders can look the same? Flour, cocaine, sugar, anthrax…all generally white and powdery, right? (And you never though I could work cocaine and anthrax into this blog. Doubters.)

It would be really great if there was a clear, concise, and aesthetically pleasing way to tell them apart, wouldn’t it? (Lots of questions in this post…)

Behold!

Step one: Take an assortment of ambiguous containers of white powder (or really any contents), a few chalkboard stickers, and a chalkboard crayon. (Yup, they exist.)

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Step two: Affix said stickers to said containers, like so:

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Step three: Clearly label containers with said chalkboard crayon. (Or, you know, regular chalk.)

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(Yeah, I was kidding about the cocaine and anthrax. But I would imagine those are two things you would also not want to mix up in a recipe.)

Ta-da! The quickest little craft there ever was.

Closets. Conquered.

Listen. I don’t want those of you who said I couldn’t do it to feel bad. It was an arduous  ordeal I was facing, and it was anyone’s game.

But the fact is: I conquered the front closet and bathroom shelves.

Here’s a quick refresher of what they looked like PRIOR to conquering:

The front closet:

The bathroom shelves:

Not so great, right? Well, then I whipped them into shape. First, the bathroom shelves:

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I used two of these bins from Target to keep the unruly towels in line, then organized all the toiletries. I also FINALLY found a use for the (otherwise useless) hamper under the shelves. (Seriously, it’s too narrow to fit any actual clothes, and it would be so much more helpful to have three more shelves. Alas…) It is officially where we store toilet paper and paper towels. They fit perfectly.

Next, the front closet. This is where we keep coats, jerseys, winter wear, wrapping paper stuff, hockey gear, shoes, the iron, and a million other things. It’s sort of the catch-all because it’s the only closet we don’t use to hold clothes. Here’s the new organizational system:

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It may not look ALL that different, but that’s mostly because all my photos look a little dingy. Here’s a break down of what is new.

First, I made better use of our really tall closets by adding a second shelf on the upper shelf (using a shoe rack from Target with the middle shelf taken out). I put the stuff that we rarely use on top of that, and the stuff we use more frequently underneath.

With the bulk of it up top, it left room on the floor for Joey’s skates, a couple pairs of boots, hockey sticks, and the vacuum.

My two favorite parts of the new closet system were ideas borrowed from Pinterest. (Naturally.) One was the shoe rack filled with cleaning supplies (and a few spare shoes of course). The other was storing my scarves neatly instead of shoving them in a box:

Genius right?

I even took on the hall closet and cleaned the kitchen and living room, AND finally fixed a loose hem on my black pencil skirt for good measure.

I know. I. Know.

Basically, I’m feeling much more organized in life. Also, I had a really dull weekend. But mostly more organized!

Anyone else get some cleaning out of the way this weekend?

Dare to dream

I dream big, you guys.

I have dreams. Goals. Ambitions. And they. Are. Huge.

How big, you ask? Really big. Really, really big. Case in point: My main goal for the weekend is to organize my front closet and the cabinet in the bathroom.

Whoa, whoa, WHOA, you say! Justine, slow down, you caution! This fast and loose lifestyle will catch up to you, you plead!

Well, you can take your warnings and stuff them, I reply.

Because I’m doing this. And I’ve got $40 worth of Target organizational goods that says you can’t stop me.

Don’t believe it can be done? Think I’ve taken on just a bit too much this time? Well, your skepticism ain’t gonna bring me down.

And on Monday, when I post glorious before and after photos, we’ll see who was the wise one. We’ll see who knew what was up.

And maybe we’ll all be just a little more inspired to dream.

Let me take care of that for you

Has anyone else ever tried this site? Basically, they take snippets from every tweet you’ve made and generate “your next tweet.” It’s kind of hilarious.

Most of them don’t make sense. And/or make it sound like you’re not NOT high.

Essentially, you can drunk tweet without a sip of alcohol in your system. Brilliant, non?

Here are a few posts it came up with for me (it helps if you imagine me actually writing them…while intoxicated):

Oh, I can spend hours on a BIT biased, but I would be a midnight grilled cheese from my life.

I can’t figure out me a bar of the way to paint today. And I’m a liar. Fantastic night. Now can do it!

Boys with me feel the prize…apartment cleaning=goo to do if not a good thing. Ok, universe. I do!

Guess where we’ll wind up? I do! Oh, I can’t wait to do it! He’s such a book. I loved mine.

The weirdest part? Well… WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?? Agreed. They’re red.

The whole network is life-changing, we still have karaoke?? Must…resist… Goals for the tip!

At a hate-free zone. Fantastic. The living room, kitchen and Jersey Boys with the longest, most emo?

Please tell me a diva. WHOA! First day just ran six miles tonight. Trying to my uterus ;- Thanks for.

Thanks, guys! Haha adorable. Exciting! I’ll be cute…if I would I feel guilty spending my apartment: The.