Sometimes I feel guilty that Juliette will never know the mama Vivian had.
She’ll never know a world that, essentially, revolves entirely around her. She’ll never know what it’s like to be my only concern, my only focus from morning to night. She’ll never know a world where people won’t be comparing her to someone else.
She’ll never know what it’s like to not have to wait for me to help her sister with something first. She won’t get as much of my time, as much of my attention, as much of my focus. She’ll never know a world where my hands are always available to hold her.
She’ll forever be wearing hand-me-downs and waiting her turn. One of her first words will be “share” and few things in life will ever be just Juliette’s.
And sometimes I feel sad she won’t know a world like that. But then I also remember…
She’ll never know a world without a best friend. She’ll never search for a playmate because she was born into a world with the best one ever.
She’ll never have to adjust from a self-centered mindset. Vivian has made the switch like a champ, but there were definitely some growing pains as she got used to a world where the sun and moon did not set with her.
She’ll reap the benefits of a more seasoned mama. Last night, I made an off-hand comment about Juliette that she’ll never get as much of my time, but she’ll get a much smarter mom. I’ve learned so many lessons being Vivian’s mom, and Juliette won’t have to live through the same mistakes.
She’ll get a more relaxed mama, too. With Vivian, everything was so foreign and unknown and I know I stressed a lot more than I needed to. Juliette’s mama has been much chiller from the start, and she doesn’t sweat nearly as much small stuff.
So yes, being second-born means giving some things up. But I think the things gained more than make up for any sacrifices.