Boring, schmoring.

My weekend was really, very dull. I mean, sure, I got a lot of cleaning and organizing done (boo-yah), but I spent at least 75 percent of it on my butt, on the couch. So lame.

I should have at least gone to the gym. Oh well, going tonight, and I’m running a 5K on Thursday, so that has to count for something.

Anywho. I used to get really stressed out when I would have a useless weekend. Part of it was that I was unhappy at my job, and if I didn’t do anything over the weekend, the two weeks would just sort of blend together in this smudge of unhappiness and stress.

Plus, when the hubster and I were just innocent little daters, the weekend was really the only time we got to see each other. So a wasted weekend was wasted time together.

To some degree, I think I still have the mindset that I have to do something or it’s like that time never happened. But in another way, I feel like I’m getting over that.

Guess I’ve just resigned myself to boring old age and death. (I’m kidding. I still do stuff, just not this past weekend.)

I should probably just be grateful for the time off. This weekend, I have plans, including a day-trip upstate on Friday. And then it’s like, DECEMBER, which just boggles my mind. And there are lots of exciting things coming in December. Just you wait.

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I could make that…right?

So…I’m pretty sure an entire fourth grade class somewhere got assigned a project on narwhals yesterday. If not, there’s is just no explanation for over FIVE HUNDRED views that post got yesterday. (Well, except the fetish thing…) The blog itself got over SEVEN hundred views. I’m thrilled and stunned at the same time.

The sad part is that I know it’s a fluke, so today’s numbers will be nowhere near as impressive. (Unless a few of those fourth graders are procrastinators!)

Last night, I kept making Joey play “Guess How Many Views I Have NOW!” I think the game was more fun for me than it was for him.

Anyway, moving on. Just had to get that out of my system. Wowie.

For any of you who have recently found the blog due to a narwhal search, welcome! (And hopefully you’re not a sicko.) If you care to shed some light on why so many people searched “narwhals” yesterday, I’d surely be obliged.

*EDIT*** Apparently narwhals were trending on Yahoo yesterday? So random. Oh well, guess that clears THAT up!

In other news.

Does anyone else read blogs or go on Pinterest and just feel like an absolute loser for not being able to make things? Or, at the very least, not attempting to make anything?

I’ve decided to be craftier. (A person can just decide that, right?) I have two or three necklaces I want to make. Like this:

I could totally make this.

I’ve downgraded that Mad Men dress to a skirt (the bodice was not coming along well…baby steps. I ended up just buying a super cute dress on Etsy. Photos to come.) but still need to actually make it, and I have a couple of dresses I’ve convinced myself I can alter. Plus, I keep seeing really cute infinity scarves on Pinterest, and I think I could manage that. And I can crochet…and I need a new earmuff/headband thing…and I saw one on Pinterest…so…there you have it.

So what I’m saying is, it shall be the winter of crafting! (I’ve lost what little male audience I had to begin with, haven’t I?)

At the very least, it will give me something to post about. You know, now that I have all those narwhal lovers turning to me for the cold hard facts about the unicorn of the sea. Mmhmm.

Anyone else have crafts on the horizon they want to tackle?

You are what you eat. Well…at least I’m sweet.

In general, I consider myself a pretty healthy person. I eat loads of vegetables, and I actually like them. I run fairly regularly. I drink over a gallon of water every day.

Sometimes, though…well, sometimes things go awry.

I blame this time of year. Do you realize how much crap (albeit delicious, delicious crap) I’m surrounded with from mid-October to mid-February?

Of course you do. Because you are surrounded with it too.

Let me give you a little run-down of everything I ate yesterday:

1. Two blueberry muffins (although this was my own fault…but they were small and homemade so….get off me)
2. A pumpkin scone (ok, I know I said I only eat one of these a year, but this was NOT a Starbucks pumpkin scone; it was also homemade and a girl in my office brought them in and it was small and GET OFF ME)
3. Four mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
5. A salad (hooray for me)
6. A mini Three Musketeers bar
7. Two MORE mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
8. A sensible dinner I made. It involved asparagus, shrimp, and part-skim ricotta cheese, if only so my body would not succumb to scurvy.

I did go running at least, so maybe that will counter-balance the roughly 1,000 extra calories I consumed. Except…not.

I actually avoid dieting on purpose, mostly because the second I tell myself I can’t have something, it is all. I. Can. Think. About. And I believe everything in moderation. And, you know, pumpkin scones and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups are delicious.

However, I can’t help but notice that what I fuel myself with drastically effects how I function. (Despite taking in almost exclusively refined and processed carbs yesterday, my run was fairly difficult. Who knew?)(Oh yeah, every doctor ever.)

I’d like to say that this is me kicking off a month of health and eschewing all things amazingsugary, but I also don’t like to lie to you. And I already told you, I don’t cut things out of my diet completely. (Unless it’s like, arsenic. Or trans fats.) Besides, I work out so I can eat more. Duh. (Well, and because it’s good for the heart and whatever. But mostly so I can eat more.)

That being said, part of that whole “moderation” theory means not going overboard in the other direction, either. So, body, this is me formally apologizing and promising not to have a chocolate and peanut butter free-for-all again…for at least a while.

Please tell me I’m not the only one whose office looks like a bakery these days? I can only imagine what will happen in December…

Mehhhhhh…

Blech.

That is my feeling about today. In its entirety.

Let’s start with the basics. It’s raining/misting/Nature is having her period today. You simply can’t wake up without sun. I have no idea how people function in Alaska. Hats off to you.

Plus, I didn’t have coffee this morning. We’re out of creamer at home, so I’ve been buying coffee almost every morning. This is a dangerous habit to fall into (not unlike crystal meth). So I had this valiant thought as I got ready this morning that I would just bring tea and make it at work.

Welp, it’s NOT the same, folks. NOT THE SAME AT ALL.

Thirdly, my attire is less than…ambitious. I mean, I’m wearing a black pencil skirt and my (faux) pearls. But then I went and topped the whole thing with a straight up flannel shirt. Business on the bottom, lumberjack on the top. And the “pencil skirt” is actually a black denim business from Gap a million years ago. So…weak.

I think when I was putting it together I had this thought of, “Oh, it will be charming and Anthropologie-esque!” But now I’m just like….lumberjack/hipster in a corporate setting. Wah.

But let’s get down to brass tacks, shaaaalllll we? The thing that is really throwing me off is that I’m wearing my glasses today. And not even my professionalish small frames. I’m wearing what I lovingly refer to as my Grandpa Glasses because they are a million times more comfortable than the other pair. They’re a little big and a lot wonderful. But unlike elbow patches, not really a grandpa trend I see taking off.

The problem is that my eyes have been KILLING me lately. So dry. And while allergies played a part, it’s really the contacts that are the culprit. I may have to spring for the pricey Oasis contacts next time. And MAN are they expensive.

I was supposed to get LASIK surgery the year before I moved to New York, but it turns out my pupils are too big for LASIK. Is that not the most bogus thing you’ve ever heard? I call it the Disney Princess syndrome. The walk-o-thon is next week.

So, basically, blech. I’m going to the gym after work, so maybe that will snap me out of the funk. Anyone else feel like hibernating today?

My fall coat

You guys. We are officially (practically) in the heart of September. (Don’t like my math? Get your own blog.) And you know what that means….

AUTUMN IS BEGINNING!!!!

Those of you who have been reading for over a year know that I have very strong feelings about this time of year. Namely, it is the best.

Best food. Best clothes. Best hair.

I love pumpkins and leaves and boots and hot cider and scarves and crisp weather.

And for those of us on the east coast, the weather has already started to turn in the most exciting way, so I’m sort of hoping we get a nice, long fall season.

Remember last year (and the year before) when I did a “fall wish list”? Welp, I’m at it again. Except this time I’m actually in the works to procure some of the things!

1. These boots. I’m ordering these through my mom, who works part time at a department store. (Thanks, Momma!) They have great reviews, are affordable, and are actually the look I want. It’s like finally getting a definitive photo of Nessy.

2. This bag. Kate Spade had a sample sale. I had something to celebrate. I think you see where this is going. It arrives today.

As you can see, I’ve actually knocked things off of past lists (see also here), so really, this shopping is more of an accomplishment than anything.

Now, here’s what I really want to find at a reasonable price this year:

1. Leather jacket. I can’t decide if I want a creamy white/ivory or a classic black or a versatile brown, but I like this style. I guess I’ll just see what comes on the radar first.

2. A camel-colored coat. Of course, J. Crew would have the perfect option. I would live in this color. (And, as long as I’m dreaming, I wouldn’t hate having a longer version too.)

3. A furry scarf and hat. This want has been blatantly inspired by our trip to Iceland. I am ok with that. It can also probably wait until winter.

And that’s it! See? Not too greedy, right? So I gotsta start saving my pennies.

Anyone else get seasonal affective shopping disorder?

Ranting against the storm

Ok, yet again, I hate to even gratify that “tropical storm” with a post after all the trouble it has caused, but I’m just going to get this out of my system and then we’ll never talk about it again.

First of all, I get it. I get why we freak out and give people the worst case scenario and then freak out some more. It’s supposed to be in the interest of the people. We freak so they are warned and perform the corresponding defensive action.

But if I can “get real” with you all, I think we can all agree that even though “warning the masses” is a helpful side effect of the excessive news coverage and widespread exaggeration of the elements, that is not why it happens.

Ratings. Increased viewers. In short, money. Sorry to get all jaded on you, but the reason you’re watching a montage of the destruction of past New York hurricanes is not because they want you to learn. It’s because people will watch images of destruction. And you watching equals more money for them. Plain and simple.

Ok, now that I have gotten that out of the way, let me preface the next tier of my argument with, I know that some people were severely affected, even in New York. A few people died. (Though I have to call shenanigans on blaming the person who died of a heart attack on the hurricane. Unless he died because the wind startled him so dern much, I think that probably had more to do with his lifestyle.) I also understand that it’s stupid to complain that not enough bad things happened.

But seriously? A few people lost power. A couple of trees lost big branches. The basement of our apartment building flooded a little. But that’s really about it for the oh-so-doomed Long Island. Heck, my train was running when I woke up this morning. (Emphasis on the was…more on that later.) Do you know how easy it is to get a LIRR train at the very least delayed? And this storm (because I will not signify it with the word “hurricane”) couldn’t even accomplish that.

Which brings me to the final tier of my argument. I was going to go all middle school and whine about just how useless a weekend storm is. It’s like a blizzard on Friday night. They’re going to clear the streets in time for school on Monday, but it’s still going to cancel Kimberly’s sleepover on Saturday that you’ve been really looking forward to, mom!!

When I woke up this morning, about six train lines were clear and running. The rest were not. Guess which category my train line was?

But that’s not even the worst part.

So I did the right thing: I dragged myself from bed. I got ready. I slugged some coffee. And I got on my train, which was actually exactly on time.

We went one stop.

Let me repeat, I rode the train for ONE STOP before we were “delayed indefinitely” due to signal troubles at the next station.

One. Uno. Une. Less than two yet slightly more than zero.

I may have done enough heavy breathing and “are you kidding me” eyes to be considered excessive.

Which brings me to the present. The part where I’m standing at Massapequa station (in the sunshine) waiting for my husband to come rescue me.

I shouldn’t be complaining — I get to stay home, right? And if it hadn’t happened in the most inconvenient, roundabout way, I wouldn’t be complaining.

But the fact is, it’s still beyond irritating. And as much as I can rationalize why I shouldn’t be that irritated, I am. And it’s my blog, so I can rant if I want to.

Whine, whine, whine.

Ok, I’m officially done. Now of you’ll excuse me, I’ll be working from home for the rest of the day. Enjoy the gorgeous weather…grumble grumble…

So…wanna talk about the weather?

I almost hate to even bring it up because there are already so many people freaking out (see also: my lack of mentioning a certain earthquake), but apparently we’re supposed to have a hurricane this weekend.

My real question is: Am I being super naive by not freaking out? Because I’m just not. And as far as I can tell, no one around me is freaking out either. (By “around,” I mean the people literally in my vicinity and whom I talk to. I know there are people in New York as a whole who are frantic.)

I mean, no one is boarding up windows or piling up their cars to get out of town. The most anyone has done is stock up on groceries and bottled water. (Which we did…but more just to feel involved.)

Part of the problem could be that I don’t watch TV. Any news I get is from online sources, and until NYTimes.com has a giant “GET OUT OF DODGE, KIDDIES!” headline on the homepage, I’m probably going to continue business as usual.

***Edit: Ohhhh, Irony. Turns out the homepage of NYTimes.com is quite similar to that this morning (which I checked about an hour after writing this post…). But for realz, still not sure if I should be fleeing??

Yesterday, my cousin texted me and asked if we were evacuating. I was literally sitting at my desk at work eating my second breakfast. My first thought: “Umm…would that be a good idea?”

I guess I put a lot of faith in the fact that if my life was in danger, more people around me would let me know. That either makes me incredibly self-centered or incredibly useless. Maybe both.

But seriously. As I type this, I’m sitting on the train with the same people I commute with every day. Unless everyone plans on sprinting from the East Coast the second they get out of work today, I feel like I’m not the only one carrying on like this is any other weekend. Albeit one where we will get a lot of rain. But that’s not exactly newsworthy this summer.

I guess what I’m saying is, if I’m missing something, could someone let le know? Because otherwise I just plan on spending the weekend hunkered down with the hubster fixing up the apartment and saying thing like, “Yup, still rainin’.”